Testimony of Former Bnei Baruch Student About Sexual Assault by Michael Laitman in 2014

source:
https://www.the7eye.org.il/465082

Testimony of a former Bnei Baruch student about sexual assault she experienced from Michael Laitman in 2014.

Laitman’s status in my eyes at the time

1. In 2011, I lived in France. I came across Laitman’s courses on the internet and felt that he gave answers to all my questions. It seemed to me that I had been looking for ways to the Creator all my life, and he was the first to say exactly what I wanted to hear. I began to intensively listen to his lessons.

2. For the first few months, I only listened to classes online. All my free time was spent watching classes on kab.tv and attending online courses. When Laitman was the lecturer on Kabbalah, I couldn’t help but listen to him. At the same time, none of the other Bnei Baruch teachers had such an influence on me.

3. After a few months, I felt the need to meet people who were also studying in the group, and in light of the fact that Laitman always said in his lessons that a person can only feel the Creator through interaction with the group, with “his own.”

4. I began attending meals at our center, “mirror” congresses, and holiday meetings in the “Bnei Baruch” group in France.

5. I also joined a “virtual group” in my country. The group received instructions from a Bnei Baruch group member in Petah Tikva, Jacques Douieb and his wife Noam Douieb, who were coordinators between the inner group and our group. The general group gathered for a (virtual) meeting once a week. We also worked in the new student reception department and the book committee, which we also gathered virtually for meetings during the week.

6. Jacques Douieb simultaneously translated Laitman’s morning lessons… I listened to the morning lesson every day on the “Kabbalah-Media” website, not in real time (at night), but during the day.

7. I decided to devote all my time to translating Bnei Baruch texts (books, websites, Laitman’s blog, etc.) into French so that lecturers could read them.

8. My husband was also interested in Kabbalah. Despite this, he never respected either Bnei Baruch or Laitman. He didn’t like that I spent so much time volunteering. I couldn’t accept his criticism of Bnei Baruch.

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Visit to Israel and personal acquaintance with Laitman

9. Laitman taught us that the Creator is within the group. Sometimes he would ask the group a question and tell us not to use reason, but to connect with the group and find what was needed. He repeated that we need to return to the center of the group during seminars. I felt that the group was simply repeating Laitman’s words, and I wasn’t sure about this spiritual development. But at the time, I didn’t dare criticize him, but thought to myself that Laitman was close to the Creator and couldn’t be wrong.

10. When I approached Laitman and we began to communicate personally (below), he told me: “I am the only one who will lead you to the Creator.” However, he sometimes said: “without me you won’t be able to feel the Creator” or: “I am within you because I am at a higher spiritual level, and you can only feel the Creator through me.” He said that he was my guide to the Creator.

11. When I listened to his voice in lessons, his voice made me very calm and peaceful. I experienced a feeling of pleasure. Laitman is very confident and charismatic, and when he spoke, I felt that he had answers to all my questions. Sometimes, when he called me on Skype (below), my hands would tingle.

12. In 2014, I came to Israel for the Zohar Congress. Before that, I didn’t know Laitman personally.

13. I felt that I adored him, and he was my teacher, but I didn’t know him.

14. During the congress, Jacques Douieb invited Bnei Baruch students from France to the stage - there were about eight members of the virtual group, as well as for a personal meeting with Laitman in his apartment at the Bnei Baruch center in Petah Tikva. During the meeting, we gathered for a group photo, and Laitman nodded his head, as if inviting me to stand next to him.

15. During the congress, there was talk that in a few months another Bnei Baruch congress would be held in Europe.

16. When I returned home, at the first work meeting after the congress, he informed us that the next Congress would be held in my country of residence! Our task was to organize the conference: find a venue, organize transportation, food, etc.

17. The France group was considered one of the worst Bnei Baruch groups - it had a high dropout rate, there were few participants, we couldn’t hold events as expected. It was very difficult for us to prepare the Bnei Baruch congress. We talked about it, but knew it was unrealistic.

18. I took an active part in organizing the Congress.

19. While preparing for the congress, Jacques Douieb informed all group members that I had the honor of being Laitman’s assistant at the congress. I was very excited and happy. The opportunity to meet and serve the rabbi was like a dream come true.

20. As Laitman’s personal assistant, I was tasked with preparing Laitman’s table during the conference - bringing him water, preparing tea, bringing him everything he needed. I also organized a cottage for him where he lived (brought water, yogurt, etc.) together with N. Before his arrival. Before the Congress, an assistant named R., who was an assistant at the European Bnei Baruch group center, sent me a list of Laitman’s requirements - everything that needed to be prepared for him (yogurt, some water, etc.). I remember that Laitman’s assistant S. asked for mineral water of a type that wasn’t available in France, and I was very embarrassed that I didn’t meet Laitman’s requirements (Laitman himself later told me that he didn’t attach any importance to the type of mineral water). I remember discussing this with group members, and one of the companies living near the border offered to go to a neighboring country to buy the water he requested. It never occurred to us not to meet the slightest requirements.

21. We were all ready to do anything for Laitman because we were grateful to him and thought that he would teach all humanity how to connect with the Creator.

Congress in my country of residence

22. As part of the conference preparation, we booked accommodation in a kind of cottage at the congress site. Laitman was placed in a cottage with his bodyguards Michael Sanilevich his daughter’s husband, and a guy named Arie Makarevich.

23. When they arrived at the congress, he asked to place the bodyguards in a separate room, next to his room.

24. When Laitman arrived at the congress venue, I showed him his room (and yogurt, water, etc.), and he began asking me questions about myself. This was the most exciting moment of my life. The person I admire most in the world talking to me for 15 minutes!

25. Then we all went to his lecture. My duties during the lecture included bringing him drinks when necessary. After the lecture, there was lunch. After lunch, I approached him and asked if he needed anything else. He asked me if I had any questions about Kabbalah. I answered that of course I did (for me he was the person who could answer all my questions!). Then he said that I could come to his room in the evening to ask him questions.

26. I was shocked. I told a friend from the group that Laitman had invited me to his room. My friend was shocked and said to me: “If this is what I think, then I intend to leave this group.” She advised me not to go to his room.

27. I agreed with her because I didn’t want to know if it was true, which I was afraid of. I couldn’t afford to be disappointed in him. I told myself that perhaps I was wrong about his intentions. But, even if there was a small risk that I was right, it was better not to take the risk. I didn’t even dare to tell myself directly what I was afraid of.

28. The next morning, when I was in the congress hall and saw him, and offered him coffee, he aggressively replied: “I don’t need anything from you!” His reaction was so sharp that I almost stumbled.

29. Noam Douieb, Jacques’ wife, came up to me and asked what had happened, because the rabbi told her that he no longer wanted me to make coffee for him, and that he wanted Noam to make coffee for him from now on. I said I didn’t know the reason and started crying. I sat during the lesson and cried. I couldn’t explain to Noam why Laitman was angry with me. I think I understood in some sense why he was angry with me, but I also couldn’t fully admit it to myself.

30. I was very embarrassed because I felt enormous admiration for him.

31. His “bodyguard” Arie Makarevich came up to me and asked what had happened. I said that Laitman was angry with me. He invited me for a walk and began saying that Laitman is married, but sometimes when he sees another woman he likes, he can sleep with her and it’s normal. He hinted to me that a married man can sleep with other women. He also said that Laitman looked very angry in the morning when Makarevich saw him, and that he had never seen him in such a situation before.

32. I suspected what he was saying and that he was actually hinting to me that if I slept with Laitman, it would be a completely normal act - but I didn’t believe it could be true because of my respect for Laitman. I hoped it was a mistake. Makarevich told me that Laitman chose me as his assistant at the congress because he saw my photograph. He said that Laitman chose me and doesn’t want N. to serve him coffee because she has dark hair and Laitman likes blondes.

33. I told Makarevich that I was married. He didn’t answer me and didn’t say directly that Laitman wanted to sleep with me, but hinted at it.

34. I was afraid to approach Laitman, so I asked Makarevich to tell Laitman that I didn’t come to talk to him at night because I didn’t want to endanger Laitman’s status, so he would stop being angry with me.

35. By evening, I saw Laitman smiling at me. I approached him, and he asked me if I really didn’t come to him so as not to harm his status. I explained that yes, I didn’t come to him so as not to endanger his status, because there were many of his students in the complex who could think inappropriate thoughts - the complex is small and there are many group members, I didn’t want people to think… I was too scared to try to find out if my fears were true.

36. In the evening, group members brought him gifts - sweets and the like. Laitman was thinking about where to put the gifts, and I suggested putting them in my car, since the congress hall was far from the cottage. Makarevich came up to me and ordered me to bring the sweets to Laitman’s room at night.

37. At night, I went to his room with gifts and knocked very quietly, hoping he wouldn’t hear. I thought to myself: this is how I can say the next day that I came, but you didn’t open the door for me. He didn’t hear and didn’t open, and the next day he left for Israel.

38. On the last day of the congress, I asked Laitman if I could come to Israel in the summer for a few weeks to volunteer at the center. I felt the need to contribute to Bnei Baruch and to my group. He answered positively.

39. After returning to Israel, Laitman began to behave as if he had fallen in love with me. He began calling me on Skype and sending me emails. He told me that he liked calling me on Skype and looking at me on the video camera.

40. I experienced enormous joy. I didn’t like him as a man: he is old and ugly. However, I loved him as my teacher and as a connection to the Creator. He told me that I have special spiritual qualities, that I am special, and that he would help me develop spiritually.

41. Laitman made me feel special and important. He said that I could help a lot with translation at the Bnei Baruch Center. I began to think about coming to the Bnei Baruch center in Petah Tikva. My dream was to work at the center. This is because at the time I believed that working in Bnei Baruch dissemination was the best way to serve the Creator.

42. I still felt gratitude and admiration for him as a spiritual teacher. He was the most important person in my life.

43. I flew to Israel in 2014. I arrived in Petah Tikva from the airport around one in the morning. A friend from Bnei Baruch came to pick me up from the airport. Laitman called me after I landed and invited me to come immediately and say hello. I settled with group members near the Bnei Baruch center. When I arrived, I asked my escort, V. L., to show me where the center was because I wanted to say hello to Laitman. V. told me that Laitman was sleeping now and it was impossible. I told him that the rabbi was waiting for me. He didn’t believe me that I had such a personal connection with the rabbi, but in the end he was convinced and took me to the center.

44. When we came to the rabbi’s apartment (at the center), Laitman was no longer sleeping and was waiting for me. Laitman told him that now we should work together. V. stays at the center and waits for me in case I want to go home.

45. I hugged Laitman and felt that he wanted something more than hugs. He began putting his hands on me and tried to kiss me. I was outraged and rejected him. I told him that I couldn’t now. He didn’t insist and said: “Well, you’re already tired. See you tomorrow.” The session lasted about 15 minutes. I called V, and we went home.

46. The next day, I brought him gifts that I had brought for him from my country. He again tried to sleep with me, but I refused. I wasn’t interested in it, I just couldn’t understand how a man at such a spiritual level could allow himself to violate the prohibition on sex outside of marriage and adultery (since I am a married woman). I told myself that if my mission on the path to spiritual development was to sleep with Laitman, then I should do it. I thought that if he wanted me to become his spiritual wife, then he knew how to properly guide me spiritually. Although I didn’t want him as a person, I was ready for this sacrifice for the sake of the Creator.

47. I told Laitman that I didn’t understand how he could sleep with a married woman, and told him that if he wanted to sleep with me, then we should get married. According to Kabbalah, a woman’s path to spirituality lies only through her husband. Laitman just laughed and said that we wouldn’t get married.

48. Laitman told me that he was my channel to the Creator. He used other Kabbalistic terms (level above you), which meant that my only path to spiritual elevation was through him. That is, in order to receive enlightenment (for spiritual growth), I had to serve him and cancel myself before him.

49. After I rejected him and when he understood that I wasn’t ready to sleep with him, he began to do psychological manipulation with me. He ignored me, and the next day showed great affection. He understood that I was dependent on him. After a few days, he went to Sochi, Russia for several days for an integral education conference.

50. I was very embarrassed. But I still adored him very much and wanted a spiritual, not romantic, connection with him.

51. I began working on translating his lectures. The atmosphere at the center was very different from what I expected based on Laitman’s stories. According to Laitman’s description, I considered them my family. But when I was at the center, I didn’t feel love among friends at the center. I felt hatred between these people. I was very surprised. Before, this was the best place in the world for me: a place where everyone loves and cares for each other. It’s hard for me to explain, but I felt rejected by other group comrades. I saw that relationships between group members were based on hatred. I felt very lonely there. I continued working on translations because I wanted to be useful. I was also very surprised by Laitman’s attitude toward Bnei Baruch workers working at the center. He often shouted at them, cursed with obscene words, etc. I felt sorry for them because they felt very humiliated.

52. When Laitman returned from Russia, he continued to psychologically manipulate me: he completely ignored me for several days, and then suddenly paid attention to me and invited me to his office (in his apartment at the center, next to his bedroom) to talk about translations.

53. When I was with him, he directly told me that he wanted to sleep with me. I hoped that I could give him pleasure without sleeping with him. I offered to give him a massage. He asked me: “Do you think he has problems with women?”

54. I also once saw his wife. She lived in another place, outside the center. When I asked him about her, he said that they hadn’t lived together for twenty years. In the end, due to the psychological state I was in, I agreed to have sex with him. The thought that he would ignore me was too painful. I felt that if he continued to be angry with me, I wouldn’t be able to continue my existence. I thought to myself that if the only thing that satisfied Laitman was my body, then I should sacrifice my body for his pleasure. I wanted to give myself (influence) and surrender one hundred percent. I considered sex with him an act of merging with the Creator.

55. One evening, I came to his apartment, and we had sex. It was disgusting for me. I just waited for it to end. It was terrible. He convinced me not to use a condom and said: “Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant.” Laitman has certain physical characteristics that I won’t describe in detail here so as not to violate his privacy without permission, but I can describe them if asked about it.

56. The same applies to the skin problem (psoriasis) that he suffers from. I prefer not to reveal details here so as not to violate his personal problem, but I can provide details about it if needed. Laitman was very disgusting to me, his body and spirit. I agreed to sleep with Laitman only because of his spiritual status and because I saw him as my spiritual leader. I would never have agreed to this without these reasons. I did it because I admired him very much and couldn’t come to terms with the thought that he would be angry with me. Looking back, I feel that he simply forced me to do it using psychological manipulation and that he took advantage of my trust in him.

57. The next day, he invited me again. He again wanted to sleep with me, but he didn’t have an erection. He asked me to have oral sex with him, but I couldn’t. He got angry and kicked me out of his apartment.

58. I went to my room and felt very bad. I had a fever, my head hurt badly. I usually suffer from low blood pressure. V.'s wife checked my blood pressure, it was very high. I lay in bed for two days. Laitman no longer contacted me.

59. I was supposed to stay at the center for two weeks, but given what I had just experienced, I couldn’t stay there any longer. I called my husband and told him what had happened, and asked my husband to change my flight home so I would arrive in ten days instead of two weeks.

After returning to my country

60. After I returned home, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I felt completely broken. As if I had lost everything I had, as if my life had exploded. I remember looking in the mirror and wondering how I looked whole when I was so broken inside. I had suicidal thoughts, and at the same time, I had a strange feeling that I couldn’t even commit suicide because I was already dead. I remember that for the first few days I was very afraid to be alone. I asked my husband to stay home with me. I felt like I was in a vacuum - as if I didn’t know where the floor was. It’s very difficult for me to explain this feeling in hindsight.

61. I told myself that there was probably a flaw in my behavior and that I was guilty of something. Kabbalah was everything to me, without it I couldn’t imagine life. I felt that I couldn’t breathe without Kabbalah. On the other hand, I couldn’t listen to Laitman anymore.

62. I didn’t tell anyone from my group why I returned early. I said that my family was worried because there was tension in Gaza at the time. I sent an email to group members that I should distance myself from the group for a while, and thank you for understanding.

63. Of the group members, I only told M. (a group member) what really happened. She was shocked by my story. We both didn’t know what to do since we couldn’t excommunicate Laitman from Kabbalah. We felt light from Kabbalah, but Laitman was a monster.

64. I still wanted to study Kabbalah, but didn’t know how. I had no one to talk to about it. About ten days after I returned home, I wrote to a person I knew from Bnei Baruch, P., whom I respected very much. I wrote to him that I wanted to study Kabbalah, but got to know Laitman personally and that he was simply a monster. He asked me if this had anything to do with sex, and I said yes, something like that. I asked him what to do. He advised me not to pay attention to what happened with Laitman, and to continue studying and that I would “cross the machsom” if I continued studying despite what happened to me.

65. During the first month after returning, I again tried to listen to Laitman’s lessons and found that I was unable to hear this voice. I told myself that it couldn’t be that light came from such a bad person. I didn’t understand why I no longer believed in his stories. I felt doubt in his words. Before what happened, I believed in Laitman more than in myself. For the first few weeks after my return, Laitman and I didn’t correspond. About a month later, I listened to his lecture and wrote to him that I seemed to have returned to Bnei Baruch. I hoped that he would give me answers: I asked him what happened and why it turned out this way. He answered that he was very happy and that he was sorry about everything that happened, that everything happened through his own fault and that he hoped that we would forget everything that was and move forward. He said that in the future I would know why everything happened exactly this way. I tried to participate in Bnei Baruch activities again. I listened to online classes and helped prepare for the next European Congress by translating the congress website and joining the registration team, but I was skeptical of Laitman and could now see that he was wrong in his interpretation of some Kabbalah sources. I was asked to translate Laitman’s program, which was published on YouTube on the topic “Secrets of the Eternal Book” - I began to notice that some of Laitman’s interpretations of the Torah differ from Rabash’s interpretations. I no longer blindly believed in Laitman.

Connection with M. and leaving Bnei Baruch

66. Some time later, I met M. virtually. M. and I have been friends on Facebook for a long time, as I automatically approve friend requests from Bnei Baruch. I had about two thousand friends, most of whom I didn’t know.

67. One day, I came across a critical post on Facebook that M. wrote about Bnei Baruch. This was the first time I saw a critical post about Bnei Baruch from a real person with whom I was able to establish contact and who didn’t seem crazy or unreliable, and it seemed he knew what he was talking about. I contacted him and asked if it was possible to study Kabbalah without Laitman.

68. This was the first time I saw a critical post about Bnei Baruch. I had never seen critical reviews of Bnei Baruch from a reliable internet source before. For this reason, I always felt that if I felt that something in Bnei Baruch didn’t correspond to reality, then it was my problem and this problem was rooted in me. Laitman always said that if we identify something in the group that doesn’t correspond to reality, then the blame for it lies with ourselves.

69. M. and I began to correspond. After some time, I told him what happened to me. He was the first to understand me and helped and supported me a lot. M. also studies Kabbalah without Laitman and was able to show me how to study Kabbalah without Laitman’s interpretation.

70. After I left, I realized that the “Bnei Baruch” group was very close to me. I realized that I was working not for the Creator at all, but for a selfish organization trying to control people and especially for Laitman, who used my spiritual aspirations to satisfy his carnal desires. I felt that they abused my trust in them.

71. After I lost contact with Bnei Baruch, I almost never wrote about them on the Internet. I have no feeling of revenge or hatred toward Laitman. Looking back, I am glad about what happened to me because if Laitman hadn’t hurt me, I would never have left this group.

The woman who gave this testimony was ready to testify in court. She also appeared in a program with Raviv Drucker, but despite her confidentiality, details leaked to group members who wanted to prevent her from testifying and threatened her life and the life of her family. In the end, the woman stated that she would not testify against Michael Laitman.